Oh man, just the title of this blog would have pissed me off. HOW DARE YOU COMPARE GOTHS TO EMO KIDS, THEY’RE TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Ugh, calm down angsty teenage self.
ESPECIALLY if someone asked you if you were goth. WHAT, just because I wear BLACK you think I’m GOTH. What’s WRONG with you? Yep, that was me. Excuse me while I cringe myself to death.
2. Black Hair and/or CraAazy Colored Hair
Oh how much I wanted to have black hair! Unfortunately, I wasn’t rebellious enough to do it behind my mom’s back and she talked me out of it by convincing me that it would fry my hair and ruin it forever (and I was apparently a vain goth kid, so I was like fuck that). She WAS okay with putting blue streaks in my hair (although I actually wanted red… but hey, I was a compromising edgy kid).
3. SO MUCH EYELINER
Nuff said, really.
4. Funky Eyeshadow
Yes, I too looked like I was punched in the eyes for a good while. It actually CAN be pulled off if done correctly, but I definitely didn’t have the right makeup skills for it back then.
5. Black Nail Polish before it was Cool
I often find myself wondering how pissed off the goth kids who didn’t grow out of it yet are about this. I still wear black nail polish all the time because I think it looks awesome, but it did make me stand out more back in the day.
6. Band T-Shirts
Oh man I would’ve been all over this shirt. The black. The red. The pentagram. The BAND. Whew, allow me a moment to contain my excitement.
7. Ball Necklaces
So… many… balls…. And apparently if you want to find these online, you have to search for METAL ball necklaces. Because fuck that pansy, hoity toity silver shit.
8. An Overwhelming Amount of Rubber Bracelets
I guess Kristen Stewart didn’t let go of her edgy phase for a while. If you were extra dark, you did that criss crossy thing with your bracelets like she has in this photo. I totally did that.
9. Spikes on Errythang
Yet another element of the goth that has become mainstream.
I remember having a bracelet like this that I wore ALL the time (maybe not at school because it probably would’ve been considered a weapon). At some point I remember going to New York City with my family and I had this puppy on while walking through the crowds. And If you’ve been to NYC, you know how ridiculously crowded the sidewalks get. I bumped into lots of unsuspecting citizens that day, and it is then I pretty much retired the spikey bracelet. I had hurt wayyy to many people with my questionable fashion choice.
UM I’m sorry but do you know HOW PAINFUL that leg spike thing would be if your thighs TOUCHED like MOST of ours? JESUS H. CHRIST.
10. Zippers and lots of Dangly Things on your Black Pants
The more straps the better. Basically a straitjacket for your legs.
Do yourself a favor and just google “Tripp pants” to see the most awkward teenagers on the planet rocking them. I was genuinely crying with laughter, mostly because I know that I used to look EXACTLY like those dark and edgy kids.
So rock the fuck on, and maybe a few years from now you’ll find this post and it’ll make you laugh too. Or cry, you know, whatever.